Dear new teacher, you will not be anyone’s savior. You can not save one, much less save them all. You can plant seeds, you can provide healthy support, and you can be on a team, but you alone can only do what is yours to do.
I have former students who are erudite scientists, published writers, beloved teachers, and expert trades workers. I also have former students who are homeless, imprisoned, and abusive. In all, I only planted seeds to support their growth, and when I attempted to save someone, I never did and usually lost myself in the process. It’s too much to be someone’s savior, and the effort will exact a hefty tax not only on your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and financial wellbeing, but also on your professional wellbeing. You have a whole classroom of students who need your best self, so provide the support you can and trust other adults at school, in families, and in your community to provide the support they can.
I’ll never forget sitting in a counselor’s office with a student navigating trauma. The counselor offered her expertise, and I only sat there as a steady support. My role had been to create a safe and supportive classroom environment and teacher-student relationship so that my student could be at her best as a learner. When my student confided in me about what kept her from being at her best, my role was to be a steady and supportive adult as well as a resource who could lead her to the experts she needed. In this case, I walked with her to her counselor and sat with her until she felt support from both of us, and then I excused myself. Before I left, the counselor told my student (I’ll call her Anna) to remember that we are both members of Team Anna. And in this case, Team Anna also included the school nurse and a parent.
New teacher, your students’ stories will break your heart from time to time, and you will want with all of your being to save them. Instead, take a deep breath, identify your role and expertise, provide the support you can reasonably give, and then trust the other adults who can contribute to the team. Do not be their savior. You can’t. Just plant the seeds that support growth. Some seeds will sprout, and some won’t. That’s just how it goes. It’s hard work, especially emotionally, but the work is worth it.
