Dear New Teacher,
My best friends are also my colleagues. There’s something about the purpose and personalities of teachers that turns many co-workers into friends and close confidants. Nevertheless, every year one of my Teacher Pathway students will ask, “Are all of the teachers friends, or do some teachers have beef with each other?” They aren’t asking if we go out for hamburgers.
In all institutions people will experience conflict. A school’s faculty is far from immune. Conflict is natural among people who are passionate about a purpose. What’s more, people have different personalities and philosophies. So, new teacher, do not let conflict with your colleagues destroy your impression of a school or the profession. Instead, recognize that conflict can become an opportunity for growth as a person, a team, and even a school. Here’s what I’ve learned through experience and the advice of others.
Stay away from unnecessary conflict.
Stay away when colleagues are complaining or “venting” or “sharing” information and opinions that might drag you down, or even worse drag you into a conflict you don’t need to invest in. You will have enough challenges of your own.
Think about the other person’s good qualities.
When conflict directly involves you, acknowledge that most people have good intentions. Refrain from involving others in the conflict beyond seeking advice and support from a wise, thoughtful friend or mentor.
Be curious, not furious.
Listen well rather than planning your defense. As Dr. Stephen Covey said in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Once you understand the other person’s perspective, you have a good starting point for working toward solutions.
Some conflicts will never resolve, but they can be mitigated.
Workplace conflicts are professional conflicts among professionals. As much as possible, don’t take them personally. You only have to be colleagues, not friends. Stay professional, avoid unnecessary interactions, and frequently remind yourself of that person’s good qualities.
So, new teacher, do not be surprised when conflicts arise with your colleagues. Teachers are passionate about their work and invest a lot into it. Conflicts are natural in that setting. All in all, if you accept that conflicts are natural, stay professional, and give almost all of your focus to your foremost reason for being there – the kids! – you’ll find your way.
